Why Scrubs Is the best medical show on television

15 Reasons Why Scrubs is the Best Medical Show on Television

These run in no particular order. Just as they came to me. And a few don't have YouTube videos to further exemplify it, mainly because I either couldn't find clips that did the reason justice, or the point is proven in previously shown videos. Either way, there are plenty of clips to keep you folks more than satisfied.

1. Music: This show really was the trend setter for the use of music at the end of the show. By my count, many shows do it, but Scrubs started it. And they do it best because it's not "Hey, cool little song to play out at the end of the episode." They actually make it a part of the show. From JD's fantasies, to the song pics, to the cast performances. Music is just as much a part of the show as the medicine or the gags. They really make it work. What's more is that the cast hand picks the music they use.
   
   

2. Comedy: They do a mixture of all types of comedy on the show. Slapstick, non-sequiters, witty rapport, one-liners, zany characters and clever quips. I don't think I've ever not laughed at an episode of Scrubs. And that's a testament to it's genius, that it's consistent.
   
   

3. Drama: Because it's a medical show, they can really get you in your heart with their drama, sometimes even better than most dramas. It's a comedy show, that isn't afraid to bare it's soul.
   
   
   

4. Comedy/Drama: I know what you're thinking, "He already did comedy and drama, I think he's just beefing up the list." Well, you sir or ma'am, are mistaken. It's how well the mix the seriousness and levity, the sublime and the ridiculous. It's a perfect amalgamation.
   
   
   

5. Guest Stars: I think I'll just list them: Dick Van Dyke, Barry Bostwick, Michael J. Fox, Colin Farrell, Brenden Fraser, Heather Graham, Heather Locklear, Mandy Moore, Elizabeth Banks, Julianna Margulies, Matthew Perry, Michael McDonald, John Ritter, Tom Cavanagh, Markie Post, R. Lee Ermy, Cheryl Hines, Tara Reid, Freddy Rodriguez, D.L. Hughley, Stephanie D'Abruzzo, Scott Foley, Keri Russell, Amy Smart, Ryan Reynolds, Eric Bogosian, William Daniels, Clay Aiken, Colin Hay, Cary Brothers, Polyphonic Spree.
   
   
   

6. Dr. Cox: Would not be the same if it wasn't John C. McGinley playing it. He, above anyone else, brings the balance of the aforementioned comedy/drama dynamic. In the same episode he can go off on his funny rants he does so well, but then show some emotion toward someone/thing and this intimidating image of him is shattered by how fragile he is. He's really one of the more interesting characters on television, and McGinley plays him to perfection.
   
   
   

7. Janitor: Neil Flynn has timing. The one undeniable truth about Janitor is that he's not their for so called comedic relief, as the whole show is the comedic relief. But he initially didn't exist in any other capacity than tormenting JD. As the show progressed, so did his character. He's such a curiously strange and mysterious character that even when he's being serious, there's a twinge in the back of your head that thinks he's BS-ing you. And the dead-pan delivery of his lines is just spot on perfect.
   
   
   

8. Medical accuracy: Push thrombolitics. Sounds professional. It isn't. It's medically impossible. It's fake. And the writers know this. They have no less than three doctors on hand as technical supervisors, making sure everything is medically accurate. And many doctors have claimed that Scrubs is the most medically accurate show on television. Back to the whole "push thrombolitics" thing, the writers try to include that whenever they can, just because they know it drives the consultants crazy.
   
   
   

9. Minor characters: In addition to the great lead cast they put together, the show would be nothing without it's minor, re-curring characters. There's Ted, the hospital's sad-sac lawyer, seasoned Nurse Roberts, The Todd, Dr. Doug aka Nervous Guy, Snoop Dogg resident, Dr. Beardface, Lonnie the speed metal freak delivery guy, Rowdy the stuffed dog, Dr. Cox's ex-wife Jordan, hypochondriac Harvey Korman.
   
   
   

10. JD: I couldn't make this list without including JD, because without JD, there would be no Scrubs. He's at times both poignant and irreverent. He's relatable. I liken him/Zach Braff to John Cusack 20 years ago. He's got that everyman charm to him. But where the character really stands out is in his earnest goofiness. At one point Turk tells him that the reason he likes him, is because he isn't afraid to just be himself. And that makes JD all the more likable.
    
    
    

11. Acting: Everything I've mentioned, from the characters to the mixture of comedy/drama, would be nothing without the acting ability of the entire cast. It's a true testament to their ability to handle the multiple styles of comedy, and the heavy drama they throw at you. NO CLIP.

12. Character development: The characters have grown. Watch an episode from the first season, then watch an episode from the 6th season (or better yet, watch new episodes, Thursdays at 9:30 EST on NBC, and I'm not being paid to say that). The characters have grown/changed and are at where you'd think they'd be at. JD's biggest dilemma isn't medical related anymore, he's now worried about his pregnant girlfriend and his perennial back-burner relationship with Elliot. Turk and Carla have gone from puppy love dating to married with a kid. Cox and Jordan, well, they're Cox and Jordan, but it's undeniable that as they've experienced certain things (an official divorce, two kids, the fact that they're still together) has altered and strengthened their relationship, and as much as they hate each other, they love each other even more now than they did when we first met them. NO CLIP
    

13. Writing Staff: When formulating this list, I spoke with many friends who also enjoyed Scrubs and got their opinion on why it's a great show. And when conversing with my cousins, Elizabeth came up with perhaps the best argument against other shows: algebraic writing. Scrubs lets the characters progress, where-as on Grey's Anatomy and ER the writers want the characters to do something, so they write their scripts to get the characters to do so. Even if it doesn't make sense for the characters to do it. Scrubs lets the characters get to where they need to be. NO CLIP
    

14. Carla/Turk dynamic: I just love their relationship. I want a relationship like theirs. Theirs is one of the best TV relationships I've ever seen. Fuck you Ross and Rachel. That's all I've got.
    
    
    

15. They tell you why: See, here's the thing, it's not enough that they prove they're better than any other medical show on TV, they actually physically tell you they are. This one warrants 2 clips.
    
    FIRST ABOUT HOUSE, M.D.
    
    
    NOW GREY'S ANATOMY
    

Reviews for Gone Baby Gone and Rendition.

Hey Brodie Fanns,

I've got not one, but two reviews for you. It's my October 23rd sales bonanza. Buy one get one free. This week it's Gone Baby Gone and Rendition

Gone Baby Gone

4 Stars

Like most people who follow films, I've been wondering for the past several years when Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were going to follow through with that potential they showed with Good Will Hunting. Well, Damon's been enjoying a damn fine acting career, so we'll let that one slide. But Affleck... he's Affleck, so I was beginning to think it was a fluke. And then along comes Gone Baby Gone.

Based on Dennis Lehane's (Mystic River) novel of the same name, Gone Baby Gone stars Casey Affleck (the Ocean's movies, The Last Kiss) as Patrick Kenzie, a private investigator hired to find the kidnapped daughter of an old high school friend. But the many twists and turns of the investigation soon catch up to Kenzie in both his professional life and his personal life.

I've gotta start off with what's good about it, and it's damn near everything. Ben Affleck makes up for his complete lack of charisma and talent in front the camera, by being a genius behind the camera. There's only one way to really shoot a Lehane novel, and that's in the gritty, raw manner in which he wrote it. Ben Affleck took a cue from Clint Eastwood's previous adaptation of a Lehane novel (Mystic River) and didn't get fancy with his camera work, just stuck to the basics, and that's what made it a sight to see. Too often do we get rookie directors wanting to separate from the herd and be known as the “visual virtuoso.” But ultimately it's obvious they're trying too hard and the films look too stylish, without any substance to back it up.

Ben Affleck (I have to say the first name, since there are two Afflecks involved) stuck to the formula that works, yet kept it fresh enough to not be cliché and boring. And in case you're wondering, Good Will Hunting was not a fluke. Ben Affleck and Aaron Stockard (debut as a writer) created an interesting world that keeps the viewer guessing to the very end, and takes you to places you didn't think he would.

Ed Harris (The Truman Show, A History Of Violence) gives an engrossing performance as a hard-edged, New Orleans born, but Boston bred Detective Remy Bressant. Harris has always been one of those actors who never seems to escape second lead status (save for a few projects), despite consistently stealing scenes from the lead. It's most likely that he's just that good of a foil for the lead characters. Morgan Freeman (The Shawshank Redemption, Bruce Almighty), who surprisingly doesn't narrate, gives a unique spin on a conflicted police captain. Freeman's always had this regal presence about him, with a goodly nature. To see him play this character who does the unfortunately wrong things for all the right reasons, it's kind of a side step for him from what he's used to, but still lying on the outer edges of his comfort zone, so as not to completely alienate his fan base.

And that brings us to the younger Affleck, Casey. He's shown considerable promise as second, third and depending on the movie, 11^th fiddle to other stars, and I can't tell if he got the lead in this movie on his own merit, or if it was the worst case of nepotism since an Aaron Spelling cast his daughter Tori in Beverly Hills, 90210. He's got talent. I honestly can't think of someone that could have played that character any better, as far as talent, looks, attitude. Unfortunately he's got the stage presence of Hayden Christensen. He needs too loosen up, work with inflection and tone and anything else that goes into making one's voice poly-tonal. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt, since this was his first time carrying a major motion picture, and he had to stand up against some heavy hitters. But my plea to Casey is, loosen up. Don't be your brother.

When it comes down to it, it was a thoroughly enjoyable flick, and entirely compelling. Don't be thrown by Casey's wooden acting. He's just nervous. That's my theory anyway.

Rendition

4 Stars

It's topical, controversial, has some of the top stars of the day including two recent Oscar winners. Must be awards bait. Well, the fish are biting, but not hard for Gavin Hood's new political thriller, Rendition.

After a suicide bombing in the Middle East kills an American CIA agent, Egyptian-American businessman Anwar El-Ibrahimi (Omar Metwally) is detained while changing flights in D.C. and brought to a secret US prison on foreign soil. Having disappeared mid-flight, Anwar's wife Isabella (Reese Witherspoon) launches her own investigation into his disappearance, appealing to an old college friend (Peter Sarsgaard) who works for a powerful senator (Alan Arkin). Meanwhile, Douglas Freeman (Jake Gyllenhaal), a young CIA agent who was at the scene of the bombing, works with Abasi Fawal (Yigal Naor), who was the intended target of the bombing, in the interrogation of El-Ibrahimi.

Now as I see it, that's the multiple story lines that were being told, and the only worthwhile ones that needed to be told. Unfortunately, as what usually happens in a multiple plot line drama, one ends up being unnecessary to the main thrust of the film, and that was the sub-plot of Fawal's daughter going missing. It all ties up in the end, but I still didn't end up caring about her character anyway, because even after the end, where there's the big revelation, I still fail to see what she brought to the table. She wasn't even a deus ex machina, or a red herring. She was just there wasting time and space.

But really, what this movie comes down to is the exact same thing we saw last year in Babel and the year before in Syriana. Global politics, all coming together in the end so it all fits together like a puzzle. Granted the connections aren't as grand or subtle or even clever as in Babel or Syriana, which is actually a plus in my book. You know everything is connected from the get-go, and they don't try to blindside you with a “everything is connected” moral at the end of the movie. Except with that goddamn daughter plot, shit! They snuck it in with a silly superfluous plot that sucked anyway. I hate you Gavin Hood, you South African, Totsi directing bastard. And writer Kelley Shane. But he hasn't really done anything else for me to turn into an insult.

It's not that this is a bad film. It's very well written, again, aside from that sub-plot. The acting is good all around. I can't think of a bad performance. Witherspoon, Metwally and Gyllenhaal give the best performances, in my opinion (and we're talking a movie with Meryl Streep and Alan Arkin). Amidst the politics of the flick, they all exude the human side of the issue at hand. And that's torture of innocent people. Witherspoon's the wife just looking for her husband. Metwally as the wrongfully incarcerated and tortured man. Gyllenhaal who goes through an existential quandary following said torture. It shows that it's not just about what is right and wrong according to the law and the constitution. It's about what's wrong according to personal ethics and morals and how you treat a fellow human being.

I got a little lofty and soap box-ish towards the end, and I didn't mean to, but it really humanizes the issue. And there are going to be things flung from either side. Liberals saying conservatives are cowboys who through out the constitution on a whim. Conservatives saying the flick is nothing but liberal propaganda. But it isn't so much of a right vs. left issue. It's not playing the blame game. The point of the movie is that it's happening. There's no denying that. It is happening. And that's where this movie succeeds. It doesn't take a political stance either way. It just wants to say “This is happening, and it's wrong.” All politics aside.

So congratulations Gavin Hood. Well made flick. I applaud you. Just, in the director's cut DVD, get the rid of that damn daughter plot. It sucks. I hate it.

Michael Clayton Review

A review today... but next time... a list. Or an essay. Whichever I finish first.

Michael Clayton

3 Stars

Political intrigue and the personal life of the man at the center of it all drive the George Clooney vehicle Michael Clayton, which is unfortunately dragged by severe plot complications and writing missteps.

Clooney (Syriana, Ocean's 13) stars as the titular character, who is a "fixer" for a prestigious law firm handling a class action law suit against a chemical company who released hazardous weed killers. A fixer is a man who isn't a lawyer or partner in the firm, but handles any problems that come up during the course of a case. Clayton is trying to fix a fellow lawyer's mental breakdown during the middle of proceedings, all the while dealing with his financial woes and issues with his son, who lives with Clayton's ex-wife.

As I saw it, there were three separate stories being told in this film. There was the Erin Brockovich-esque class action lawsuit against a major company. Then the mental breakdown of Arthur Edens (Tom Wilkinson, Batman Begins) that could damage said proceedings. And then there's the personal life of Clayton.

Which story was the primary focus of the film? Well, all three were. Writer Tony Gilroy (The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum) makes his directorial debut with Clayton, and he unfortunately could not find a clear focus for the the film. There was too much story being told. At the end of the movie, I honestly didn't care about the characters and what happened to them, because I didn't know I was supposed to. Gilroy spread the film too thin and the only people who get hurt is the audience.

This isn't to say it's a bad film. Each story stands very well on it's own merits. Personally I think both the lawsuit and Clayton's personal life could have taken a backseat to the Arthur Edens plot line. It would have been a much richer and more interesting film.

And the acting is definitely not to go without notice. Clooney has made it known that he is one of the best actors working today, and his work in films like Clayton only prove this. He's already got the Best Supporting Actor Oscar, this film more than shows that he deserves a Best Lead Actor Oscar. Wilkinson gives a quirky performance as a man at his wit's end with modern society and big conglomerations.

It's one of those movies where I could really take it or leave it. There are aspects that are really good and stand out as strong positives. But the negatives are just too prominent.

Where's your blog been, Brodie? Right here, and it's new!

Brodie Fanns!

So, some of you are probably wondering why I haven't posted a blog or a list in while. Or you're not, cause you don't read my blog. Who knows? But if you do, then you've noticed it's been a while since I've posted a review or a list.

Well, to be honest, there are several reasons. For one there have been weekends where I just haven't seen a movie. Remember, I'm busy with two jobs and since I have to pay for all this out of my pocket, I can't always afford it. But I try. Rest assured by the end of the week I'll post 3 new reviews. I have one written. What the hell, I'll post that one now. (Scroll to the end of the post to read the review of "The Kingdom"

Another reason is, as some of you know, I'm also a writer of scripts. Screenplays, if you will. I'd say "aspiring", but that means I hope to be one some day. And as I'm currently writing one, that is a full 15 pages in, I think I've moved past the "Hope to be one" to just "I am one." I got in a groove with my script, and I've been focusing a lot of energy on that.

I haven't hit a wall with the writing of the script, I'm still going strong. But that being in the zone with it time period has past. I've got the next few scenes that I'm writing mapped out, so to speak, so I know where I'm going. I can return to telling you what films to watch, and what is cool in the top 10.

Just so you know, I am working on a few HUGE posts that are time consuming, just compiling information, stuff for the lists and what not. One is what currently stands as a "Top 13 Reasons Why Scrubs is the Best Medical Show On Television", but that number could change. I'm also working on what I call a "Love Letter to the Movies." It's a mini-auto-biography on why Brodie loves movies so damn much. This fall's must read. Well... it's the must read as far as myspace blogs written by me go.

Anywho, that's just a little update, so you know I'm not dead. And to give you a taste of the upcoming reviews... Yes, it is possible for me to not think a George Clooney film is not the best thing known to man (shocking, isn't it) and gangland flicks starring Marky Mark kinda peaked with The Departed.

Keep it real, homies,

-Brodie Mann

AND NOW... THE KINGDOM

The Kingdom

3 Stars

Movies covering any war are always a touchy subject. But covering a current one is just asking for controversy. Peter Berg tackles current American/Saudi relations in his new thriller The Kingdom, and isn't exactly the political thriller it could have been.

Following a carefully coordinated series of attacks on an American oil company's community in the Saudi capital of Riyadh, which left several FBI agents dead, a team of agents is sent to collect evidence and find out who was the mastermind of the attacks. American bureaucracy, Saudi traditions and cultural differences hinder their investigation along the way, but the team stops at nothing to catch the perpetrators of the heinous attacks.

At first glance, it seems like a noble effort on the part of Berg (Friday Night Lights, Very Bad Things) to fuse the action and political thriller genres, and on some levels, it works. It really does. But it's also a deterrent, because by that same merit, it seems doomed to fail. Which makes this film hard to pin down. I honestly can't tell which genre to put it into, and subsequently which one to judge it as. It moves around in both with great ease, but never really breaks the two to be it's own film. It fascinates audiences while confusing them at the same time. Ultimately I have to determine which one is more dominant, and write my review as such. Hopefully I figure it out by the time I'm done writing it.

One must give credit to the cast, Jamie Foxx, Jason Bateman, Chris Cooper and Jennifer Garner play the FBI agents sent to Saudi Arabia, while their Saudi escort, Ashraf Barhom, should get equal attention, as he really pulls the story together for the characters. They could have played it as the atypical Americans vs. Saudis, us vs. them type of mentality, with the rah rah governmental attitude, but they didn't, and it's a true credit to their abilities to not do so with a story such as this, considering the geopolitical climate.

The strongest asset this movie has is it's script. It perfects the balance of a political thriller and action war flick, one too few movies have even attempted. And it packs an emotional punch at the end that the general American audience may not even appreciate, but is full of impact none the less.

Overall, it's definitely worth a look. But would I expect any sort of attention come awards season? Probably not anything outside of technical awards, and even that's stretching it a bit, as that didn't stand out. Though in a year of mostly underwhelming films, even the moderately good stand out as the cream of the crop.

3:10 to Yuma

Hey Brodie Fanns,

I hit up the theatre just once this past weekend. All my money was being focused on a trip to Monday Night RAW in Green Bay. Lots of fun. But like I said. I got to a movie. And here's the reviw. Enjoy!

3:10 to Yuma

5 Stars

Every so often it seems that someone tries to resurrect the western genre which was once so dominant in American cinema. Most either aren't that good, or are just homages to the style. But James Mangold's 3:10 to Yuma breathes new life into the genre that has yet to find a home in the spectacle laden modern cinema.

Dan Evans (Christian Bale) is a poor Arizona rancher and Civil War vet with a bum foot and debt collectors harassing him. Then he gets a chance at financial redemption when he's offered $200 ($2500 by today's standards) to escort noted outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to Contention, AZ to catch the 3:10 train to Yuma (hence the title). Evans, along with a railroad representative (Dallas Roberts), a doctor (Alan Tudyk) and an old timer (Peter Fonda) embark on the journey, with Wade's men hot on their trail, led by hot head Charlie Prince (Ben Foster). During the trek, Evans and Wade's relationship changes from one of mutual distrust and dislike to one of mutual respect and admiration.

Bale (American Psycho, Batman Begins) continues to prove that he's one of the most talented and versatile actors of our generation. There isn't a single one of his films where he doesn't completely immerse himself into his character and bring a powerhouse performance to each project he works on. He's one of the few actors that I will watch anything he's in, as it's sure to be one of the better films of the year.

Crowe (Gladiator, Cinderella) plays against type as the antagonist, a pure embodiment of the classic Western outlaw who eventually gains redemption. In recent years he's played more of the tragic hero, or the good guy type, and seeing him play the flip side is an interesting treat for Crowe fans specifically, movie fans in general.

A movie where it was just these two going back forth with each other would have been good enough, but it's the supporting cast that really rounds out the emotional impact of the film. Foster (Hostage, Alpha Dog) keeps stealing scenes from his more famous co-stars, and he's eventually going to make the leap from second fiddle to leading man. Fonda (Easy Rider, The Limey) adds a sense of gravitas to the film, but never overshadows the main characters, keeping the focus on them.

Mangold (Walk the Line, Identity) has always done very interesting character studies for films. And this one is no different. But he's able to weave the study into the action and macho bravado of the classic western, staying true to the spirit of the only original American cinematic art form, while giving it a modern face-lift to keep up with the style of the times. While he has yet to separate his voice from those of other contemporary directors, he continues to make an impression, and will definitely launch into the rank of A-list directors.

Michael Brandt and Derek Haas' adaptation of Halsted Welle's original 1957 screenplay and Elmore Leonard's short story is somewhat of a coup for the writing team, who have flopped recently with the family spy film Catch that Kid and adrenaline filled sequel 2 Fast, 2 Furious. It just proves that sometimes it takes a few misses to finally make a hit.

It will be interesting to see how this affects the only other western being released this year, Brad Pitt's The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and indeed the genre in general. But I think it will only help, as it is clearly one of the stand-out films of the year (as of this writing, there's still 4 months of films left to see). I'm now looking more and more forward to next year's The Dark Knight, as Christian Bale is only getting better and more exciting as an actor.

Iron Man... Iron Man... Does whatever an Iron can!

Hey Brodie Fanns,

I know you all are just as excited over the release of the new Iron Man trailer as I am. For three reasons...

1) Iron Man is an awesome superhero.
2) It's directed by Jon Favreau
3) It stars one of my favourite actors, Robert Downey, Jr.
4) Samuel L. Jackson plays Nick Fury.

I know that was 4, but come on, the fourth was about Sam Jackson. It was warranted.

So check out the trailer here, it's only available in quicktime format for now. So you must have that. This is a clickable link by the way.

Enjoy, and no I don't feel the least bit bad for making an entire post just for a movie trailer.

-Brodie Mann

Top 10 People I'd Like to Party With

As a hard partier myself, and all around drunk, I often times watch some of my favourite shows or movies and say “Man, that would be cool to hang out with that guy,” or something to that effect. So who would I like to hang out with? Specifically. So I went over some of the coolest, baddest dudes and dudettes in flicks and TV shows I enjoy, and compiled a list of the top 10 people I want to hang out with, in some capacity, mostly in a partying manner.

10) The Smart Tech Staff (The 40 Year Old Virgin)

Imagine going to a bar with your friends, and their primary objective is to get you laid. How great are those friends. They can take their liquor, so you know they won't pussy out on you half way through the night. Good ole Cal's right there with the apple bong for when you really want to get ripped. And honestly, since when is breaking out into a perfectly choreographed song and dance routine to a 60's pop song NOT cool?

Classic Party Line: "I want some pooooon!"

9) Randal Graves (Clerks and Clerks II)

He's a surly, sardonic, cynical asshole who loves to hate his job and rip on the customers he's supposed to be serving. Randal's not so much of a "party pal", but more of a kick back kinda pal. Sure he goes on and on... and on. But will it ever be a dull moment when Randal Graves graces you with his presence? Hell no.

Classic Party Line: "Now where am I gonna bring chicks to fuck when my mom's home?"

8) The Guys at Championship Vinyl (High Fidelity)

They are music snobs, but stand your ground with your Top 5 picks and you're so fuckin' in. They'd be fun to chill with, and freestyle conversation back and forth with. And then you all could gang up on Barry and insult him till he's frustrated and storms off. That's always fun.

Classic Party Line: "Let 'em riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey."

7) Rick Gassko and Jay O'Neil (Bachelor Party)

If you party with these two guys, you know it's gonna be nonstop fun till the break of dawn. And then it'll keep going. Most likely the cops will be involved at some point. But you'll either a) get away with it or b) Jay will talk your way out of trouble. And who wouldn't want a fun filled night involving cops, but no jail time.

Classic Party Line: "Gentlemen... Let 'em riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey."

6) Brian Griffin (Family Guy)

He's a martini swilling, pot smoking, erudite son of a bitch. No literally. He's a son of a bitch. He's a walking talking dog. He'll never be at a lack of anything to say, and since he's a dog... HELLO! Ultimate chick magnet. Plus his knowledge of cheesy 80's pop will definitely come in handy at the karaoke bar (you know you go to them).

Classic Party Line: "Who's leg do you have hump to get a dry martini around here?"

5) Wooderson and the Robert E. Lee High School Class of '77 (Dazed and Confused)

When walk into a pool hall like you own the fuckin' place, and people treat you like you do, you know you're gonna get one thing when you go out that night. Respect. And that leads to bartenders paying attention to you. No one likes a shortage of beer. Thank you Dave Wooderson. Thank you for being "that guy."

Classic Party Line: "You got a joint, man?"

4) Delta House (Animal House)

I'm not even going to write a reason why. The clip speaks for itself.

Classic Party Line: "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"

3) Jeff Spicoli (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

The dude ordered a fuckin' pizza to his history class. Means he's got one thing. Balls. And when you hit the bars, you're gonna need a guy with balls. And the mental side effects from too much pot.

Classic Party Line: "People on ludes should not drive!"

2) Wayne and Garth (Wayne's World 1 and 2)

Rockin' out in the Mirth-mobile while cruising the suburbs of Chicago, this is the life, and they're never at a shortage of kick ass rock stars to hang out with. From Alice Cooper giving history lessons to Aerosmith just plain old rockin' out, how can you go wrong with a couple of guys are in with the band?

Classic Party Line: "If you're going to spew, spew into this."

1) Bender Bending Rodriguez (Futurama)

Fun loving, heavy drinking, cigar smokin', womanizing. Oh and he's a robot. And a cartoon. And from 1000 years in the future. You can't go wrong with a guy who's never at a shortage for floozy-bots, and when a guy's got a dangerously low blood alcohol content (how a robot has a blood alcohol content, I'll never know) of .08, you know he's the guy you want to hang out with. Everybody do the Bender!

Classic Party Line: "Let's go get drunk!"

And for good measure... a few honourable mentions:

Jay and Silent Bob (Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
Classic Party Line: "Snoochie boochie noochies!"

Evan, Seth and McLovin (Superbad)
Classic Party Line: "You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?' We could be that mistake!"

The Lone Rangers (Airheads)
Classic Party Line: "Yeeeeaaahhh! We're partyin' in here! We got all kinds of beer!"

What the hell... let's talk television.

Hey Brodie Fanns,

The fall TV season is about to start, and what the hell... here's my two cents. Most critics usually give a preview of ALL shows coming up for the fall season. Well... I don't have the means that most critics do, so I'll just be talking about what I watch, and what I'm interested in.


Fall TV Preview


I'll keep this short and sweet, as it would be way too long of a post if I were to go into detail on every single show.

As per usual, my TV and DVD-R will be pretty much permanently affixed to NBC and FOX this fall.

FOX
Returning-
House, M.D. returns without the aid of his entire staff. Oh no, what's a grumpy doc to do?
Family Guy and The Simpsons are both my favourite animated families, and their outlandish highjinks keep getting better. Even The Simpsons are on an upswing.
Let's see if 24's return in January can make up for the less than mediocre 6th season. I hope it can.

New-
K-Ville is about cops in post-Katrina New Orleans (or Nawlins as some call it). It could go the route of last year's Stand-Off, but with Anthony Anderson and the under-rated Cole Hauser, it may actually make it through to the second season.
Back To You marks Kelsey Grammer's first time not playing Fraiser on a series in over 20 years. And with Patricia Heaton in tow, I for one am excited for this one. I just hope this newsroom centered comedy fairs better than Sports Night did 9 years ago.
New Amsterdam and The Sarah Conner Chronicles are both slated to be mid-season replacements, which means we'll see them soon (let's face it, FOX is cancellation trigger-happy, if I were to compile a list of the top 10 cancelled before their time TV shows, 11 of them would have been on FOX, except for Sports Night). New Amsterdam is about an immortal trying to break his infinite life curse, while The Sarah Conner Chronicles is a series based on The Terminator films. Both shows could really go either way, it all depends on how they handle the subject matter.

NBC
Returning
I will be completely unreachable on September 24th, from 9-10pm, as that's when the second season of Heroes starts.
The two Law & Orders that are still on this network, only because they've never really been bad... just mediocre at times.
ER. Now this is a show I once loved and wouldn't miss. Now... I pay attention out of habit and curiosity. I just want to see how and when they'll finally end it (which should be in about 3 years ago).
And of course, the best medical show on television- Scrubs. It's actually going to have an end in this, it's 7th season. It will be missed, but good job Scrubs. Way to bow out when your time is up.

New
Only one new show on NBC's fall line-up intrigues me, and that's Journeyman. And it only intrigues me because I'm a sucker for time travel. Luckily it's got primo real estate behind Heroes on Monday night, so it may actually garner an audience.

ABC
Returning
I only watch Lost on ABC. Most of their shows are geared toward the females, of which I am not. Lost is coming back in January, kicking off it's final 48 or so episodes. It's good that they gave it a timeline, meaning that the show HAS to end. It's bad that they're splitting that into three 16 episode seasons, meaning we have to wait longer for a shorter season.

New
Pushing Up Daisies could be entertaining. It's an interesting premise. A guy is able to bring dead things to life, but only brings back murder victims so he can solve the crime and collect the reward money. There's good internal and external conflict to be had there. So I'll give it a shot.
Caveman, a new show based on the Cavemen from the Geico ads. I'm really looking forward to it. It could be very funny. Or it could really suck. I hope it's the former.

CBS
I'm about 40 years too young to watch anything on CBS, except Jericho. And that's only coming back for 7 episodes, to wrap up the storyline. The show is definitely canceled. But strong negative fan reaction mandated that CBS order conclusion episodes. So I'll be watching it. But only for a few months. So long Jericho. You were pretty good.

Halloween Review

Halloween

3 stars

Rarely do I see a movie that can be summed up with one word, but this one can. Brutal. Rob Zombie's take on John Carpenter's 1978 horror classic Halloween is nothing short of brutal, but is all the better as such.

Zombie takes a different approach than Carpenter did, though. He explores what made Michael Myers become the Michael Myers we know and love today by delving into his childhood. Obviously coming from a troubled and broken home, young Michael (Daeg Faerch) exhibits all the earmarks of a future sociopath. From the cruelty towards animals, violent outbursts to peers and the deeply anti-social behaviour, it's everything a growing boy needs to become one of the more vicious and prolific killers in cinematic history. After brutally murdering his mom's boyfriend, his half sister and her boyfriend, having saved only baby Boo, Michael is remanded to Smith's Grove Mental Institution under the care of famed child psychologist Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Seventeen years later, Myers escapes and goes on a bloody rampage to find his long lost baby sister, now going by the name Laurie Strode (Scout-Taylor Compton). And that's where Zombie's flick starts to mirror Carpenter's.

I will actually get into the debate of for or against remakes at a later date, but a film review is not the appropriate forum. All I can say, is the first half of the movie is what I expected from Zombie, the second half, I expected more.

Remakes are good when the new filmmaker improves on the existing story, and he did that with the first half of his film. Never before had we been privy to the gory details of Myers' past. We kind of knew, but only in flashbacks and references, which don't really do the story justice. For a somewhat horror geek like myself, I was excited to see the backstory. It opened up new dimensions to the character of Michael.

But the back half was the carbon copy of Carpenter's film. It was clearly updated, as Zombie did more, nudity and violence-wise, than Carpenter could have hoped to have done 30 years ago, and it was in Zombie's somewhat distinct personal style. But I couldn't help but think that if I had walked out of the theatre once Michael escaped, if I would actually miss any of the story. I don't think I did.

I really want to sing the praises of Faerch. This young kid came in and gave a horror icon the third dimension he had so distinctly been lacking till now. For a 10 year old, that's just amazing craftsmanship. I want to see more of this kid's work.

Keep an eye out for interesting cameos popping up throughout the film. Zombie's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, plays Myers stripper mom. Horror legend Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) plays a trucker who suffers the wrath of Michael. Celebrated character actors Danny Trejo and Clint Howard put in some good work on the film. But perhaps the biggest coup for horror fans in general, Halloween fans specifically, was the casting of Danielle Harris in the second female lead. For those of you unfamiliar with the franchise, Harris played Jamie Lloyd in Halloweens 4 and 5.

When all is said and done, you should only go see this if you're really, really into horror films. It's effective in the scares, but if you're a purist, rent or buy the original instead.

I don't recommend this for the faint of heart. Lots and lots of blood. But then again I'm a sick, twisted bastard, so the gory violence of modern horror flicks entertains me.

Return of the Brodie... WITH LISTS!!!

Hello BrodieFans,

I've got a couple lists for you.


Top 10 Film Adaptations of Television Shows

1) The Fugitive
2) Serenity
3) Mission: Impossible
4) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
5) The Untouchables
6) South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
7) The Addams Family
8) The Blues Brothers
9) The Naked Gun
10) Wayne's World


Top 7 Brad Pitt Performances
1) Fight Club
2) Snatch
3) 12 Monkeys
4) Se7en
5) True Romance
6) Babel
7) Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Top 5 Val Kilmer Performances
1) Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
2) The Doors
3) Tombstone
4) Top Secret
5) Heat

Top 10 flicks of the 2000's... thus far...

I thought about writing a special blurb for each of these, sort of a justification or an "in defense of", pointing out the technical merits of as to why each film was included. But they all came out like mini-reviews of the flicks. And I didn't want that. Then I remembered what this and every list like it is... opinion. Rarely, if ever, does actual technical merit come into play when a critic, or a panel of critics come up with the "10 best" of anything. So I said fuck it. Write the list, provide some good clips (all courtesy youtube.com) and have people see for themselves why I thought the film was particularly deserving of the 10 best of this current decade.

So here it is...

1. Sin City
   

2. Donnie Darko
   

3. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
   

4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
   

5. Shaun of the Dead
   

6. Memento
   

7. Requiem for a Dream
   

8. 28 Days Later...
   

9. Ocean's Eleven
   

10. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
    

Musings on the Simpsons

So here's the essay, it took me a few days, because, well, it's long. I'm not an essayist, so it probably sucks. But what do I care. Enjoy.

How easy would it be for me to come onto my blog and do a “Top 10 Simpsons Moments” or something like that. Sure I could slap together that list and would probably look a shitload like the one at MSN.com, which resembles the one at aol.com, which seemed to copy the one in last weeks issue of EW, and so forth, and so forth. I think for the most part we can all agree who the best celebrity cameo was (Johnny Cash in The Mysterious Trip of Our Homer), or what the best episode was (Marge vs. The Monorail seems to be a consensus, but I prefer She of Little Faith) or what season was better (season 7) or whatever, there are probably a hundred things we can debate upon concerning the the stellar 18 year run of the show. But that's not something I want to do.

Cause quite frankly, I just don't want to.

I would, however, like to offer up a few of my own thoughts, observations and reflections on America's family. These aren't nearly as profound or even well thought out as what can be found in the books “Philosophy and The Simpsons” and “The Gospel and The Simpsons”, hell, I'm performing literary improvisation with this essay. But a fan's perspective is the essence of what makes a good show. It's necessary. So... here goes.

I actually didn't get into The Simpsons till about 1999, maybe 2000. My parents let me watch Die Hard when I was 6, Clerks when I was 11, and listen to George Carlin since I was 5, but Bart Simpson was gonna be the bad influence on my life, go fuckin' figure. So once I hit 13 or 14, I said “Fuck it, I'm watching it.”And my whole perspective on comedy, on television, on cartoons, on pop culture, on life, it all changed.

I think the first episode I ever saw was Bart Sells His Soul. It sticks out in my mind to this day because it was so wickedly funny, yet at the same time, earnestly heartfelt and poignant. Because my dad had raised me on classic rock (which to this day, I thank him for, cause that's just good music), I got the “Ina-Gadda-da-Vida” reference, which is part of the hilarious opening sequence. Candles in the air like lighters. Because of Rev. Lovejoy, I refer to it as “rock and/or roll”, to this day. Just pure gold. And then Bart sells his soul to Milhouse, in an effort to prove that souls don't exist. Cut to later in the episode, Bart psychosomatically begins to believe in the existence of souls and embarks on a journey of Homerian (Greek playwright, not his father) proportions to reclaim his soul. And it got heavy, Bart broke down and cried and prayed for his soul. There was a touching brother/sister moment when Lisa bought Bart's soul back for him. And that's when I perked up and took notice. It was “alright, this is a fuckin' show I have to watch.

Until I saw this, and pretty much until this show came along in 1989, animated television shows were goofy parables, geared primarily towards kids. They had a simple lesson, or in the case of the Loony Tunes, it was just five minutes of zaniness. Not to say they were bad, but it wasn't until The Simpsons came along that mainstream audiences got an animated show geared towards adults.

I'm taking a lot of historical perspective on this, I know, but to properly get my thoughts on the show out, I have to give context.

In 1989, The Simpsons were the antithesis of the “family comedy” that was dominating the TV ratings in the late 80's. Growing Pains, The Cosby Show and Full House were moralistic, simplistic and carefree. All problems were solved by a good talk and a big hug. It was an idealistic view of the American family. But American families weren't perfect. Enter the Fox network. Granted Married, With Children came first, but it really was The Simpsons that changed the family sitcom at that time. And despite many knock-offs and homages since, it's still the gold standard for the functionally dysfunctional family.

Homer was the anti-Cliff Huxtable. He's not this successful man, who's all knowing and is lovey-dovey with his family. He's a common man, blue-collar, kinda dumb, but loves his family and is doing his best for them. When Lisa goes missing after taking the bus downtown to the museum, Homer goes on a frantic search for her, even praying to Superman for help. That's love. And he reflects a certain carefree attitude of Americans. This isn't an insult toward Americans but there is one Homer quote that sums up his character perfectly. I can't remember the episode, or even the particular situation he was in, but Homer proclaims “This is everybody's fault but my own.” Hasn't everyone felt like that at some point? I sure as shit have.

Marge was a great suburban wife. She was all about the image of the family. Even though they barely have faith, they still go to church every weekend, because Marge wants the community to think they're good people. On many occasions, she wonders aloud “What will the neighbors think?” In Scenes from a Class Struggle in Springfield she bought a Chanel dress at an outlet mall, and when she was accepted by high society, she went crazy altering the dress, just so she could fit in with the upper-crust crowd. Eventually she saw the error of her ways, but that showed her true character.

Bart and Lisa are both representatives of rebellious youth. Bart is a rebellious troublemaker, always causing grief for Homer, Principal Skinner, Moe or just about anyone he comes across. In the first episode ever, he says point blank to Santa (Homer in disguise) “I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?” It came full circle back to Bart in the recent four hundredth episode in another perfect pop culture reference, with his phone call getting crossed with a secret agent's call, who promptly said “I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?”

Lisa is the more passive rebel. She goes against the grain of society, much to the chagrin of everyone around her, only finding support in the various celebrities that wander through, but never from her family. The often mis-understood genius, yet still naïve as to the ways of the world. She makes the mistake of many a young rebel by jumping head first into a cause or belief, yet rarely checking the water below.

I don't want to get into Maggie, cause quite frankly, I don't understand babies. Let's just say she's the weird kid who never talks and leave it at that.

And that's what has cemented it's place in pop culture history. By changing the rules of television. Cartoons weren't just for kids anymore. Sitcoms weren't for washed up stand-up comics. It was this brand new entity, this force to be reckoned with, and Matt Groening proclaimed he was here to stay.

Saturday Night Live aside, no other show has been such a pop culture landmark, while simultaneously skewering it at every turn. And it's a lot of the little jokes that make the satire work. When Lenny and Carl refer to Richard Gere as the “world's most famous Buddhist”. When Homer realizes he's not “cool” anymore, he rattles off bands that weren't really all that cool to begin with. But the most significant mark of the greatness of The Simpsons, is three particular episodes. Brush With Greatness, She of Little Faith and Homer's Barbershop Quartet. What these three all have in common is that they all featured former Beatles.

In 1976, Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels famously went on the air and offered John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, the Beatles, $3000 to reunite on his show. It never happened, and four years later, Lennon was dead and it never could happen. But, I firmly believe that had Lennon not died, The Simpsons could have reunited the Beatles. Three episodes, just a few years apart, all featured a Beatle, as themselves, in small roles. But Matt Groening could have written an episode for the four of them. And they would have done it.

I'd be hard pressed to find someone who would disagree with that sentiment. And that right there, that power Groening has, to have been able to reunite the Beatles, that's huge. No one else has that much influence in pop culture. Not Michaels, not anymore. None of the power players in film and television have wield that kind of sword.

And it's not like Groening has desired that power, and it's not like he uses it. He just makes his show.

This essay has gone on a lot longer than I originally intended, so I'm going to wrap it up. And this is what's gonna get me, the closing. I always have trouble with closings. From essays, to short stories, to voice mail messages, I never know how to end it.

The Simpsons are not just a part of television history, or pop culture history. But really, it's a part of American history. It's such a landmark show, and so ingrained in our collective psyches, that, much like the aforementioned Saturday Night Live, it is really hard to imagine a time when it wasn't on the air. Even for people who are old enough to remember when it wasn't on the air. Groening doesn't show signs of stopping, and I for one, hope he goes as long as he's got the steam to do it. The show will end when it ends. No sooner. No later.

Good night, and good luck, I guess.

Harry Potter review

Ok... seriously, I promise to get on track with doing this daily. Really I do. And adhering to the schedule I set for myself. It's just a matter of doing so. I just have to get in the rhythm. But here's the review for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. A contemplation on The Simpsons will come later today.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2 stars

It's hard to play a blame game as to why the fifth installment of the usually entertaining Harry Potter franchise has failed to live up to the standards set by the previous four films. The only thing that's really changed is the director. I guess it's not that hard to play the blame game after all.

Let me preface this in the same way I prefaced the review for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: I have not read the books. I read the first one, didn't care for it, haven't picked one up since. So my plot outline is based on the presentation in the film alone, not all the side plots from the book that didn't make the final cut. This is a film review, so I am reviewing the film. OK, here we go.

Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) has incurred the wrath of the Ministry of Magic after performing a magic spell in front of regular people, though in his defense, it was to ward of demons sent to kill him. Then he finds out about the Order of the Phoenix, a secret society formed to defend the world upon Voldemort's return, members include Harry's parents, Sirius Black, Snape, Dumbledore, the Weasleys, Lupin, Mad-Eye Moody, etc.. Then Harry meets before the Ministry to decide his fate at Hogwarts Academy. They let him stay, but prudish member of the Ministry Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) decides she's going to become a teacher there, to keep an eye on things at Hogwarts.

To explain everything as well as they did in the movie would be a practice in futility. It's one convoluted mess. It's like trying to listen to a goofy 50 year old Mid-Westerner try to tell a joke. “Oh wait, I forgot about this part, let me back up.”

The thing of the movies, and this goes for all cinematic adaptations of books, especially popular books, is that they are supposed to make people who have yet to read the books, care about the story, about the characters, as much as those who have read and loved the books do. Like I said, I haven't read the books. Not my cup of tea. But the first four flicks made me care. I liked the story. For the 2 hours or so that I was in the theatre, or watching it on DVD in my living room, I was pulled in, I was engrossed by the story. It was an enjoyable experience for me.

I didn't get that feeling from this one. And it's David Yates' fault. Or Michael Goldenberg's. Goldenberg's the screenwriter. Steven Kloves has done a fantastic job translating the previous four novels to the screen. And thank the god I don't believe in he's coming back for part six. Because Goldenberg's script was just a muddled mess. Unfortunately we're not spared Yates for the sixth installment.

I think everyone did their parts to the best of their abilities. They did the best with what they were given, and it wasn't much. There were no stand-out performances. But to the credit of the entire cast and crew, they aren't showing the signs of fatigue one would expect after six years and five movies. They go out and deliver with everything they've got, which is the mark of true dedication to the craft.

It was a convoluted mess of a movie that needs better writing, but above all else, a better director. Yates just wasn't the right man for the job. I think if the producers want to go out with a bang on the seventh flick (and I'm sure they do), go with Guillermo del Toro or Alfonso Cauron. Not Tim Burton.

DVD Forecast

A few new DVD's came out this week, let me guide you through them-

To be honest... I'm not gonna do one, mainly because of the three big new releases, I didn't see a damn one, because they all looked terrible. If you're interested, it's Factory Girl, Premonition and The Hills Have Eyes 2. All got bad reviews. Rent at own risk.

As for Wednesday's Random Film Post... well, I kinda did that on Sunday. So just keep an eye out for Thursday's.

Transformers

Give me a break on this one, I'm coming off a 2 and a half month hiatus from writing these things, so I'm a tad rusty. But it's finally up, 3 days late. Enjoy, fans!

Transformers

3 Stars

My job as a film critic is to essentially determine one thing: Was it a good movie? And for Michael Bay's new action epic, Transformers, the answer is yes. But could it compete on the same level of quality film making as March's Zodiac? Absolutely not. But it's a different kind of filmmaking.

Shia LaBeouf (Disturbia) stars in this big screen, live action adaptation of the 80's cartoon series, which in turn was based on a toy line of robots that turned into cars. LaBeouf plays Sam Witwicky, a high school loser who buys a junker of a car, which turns out to be Autobot Bumblebee, part of an alien race of robots from the planet Cybertron. The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime have come to earth in search of the Allspark, and keep it out of the hands of Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. Soon Earth gets thrust into the middle of an epic, centuries old battle between the Autobots and Decepticons.

Now, you can imagine the overall tone of the flick isn't all that serious. You probably felt a little silly reading that, I know I felt silly writing it. But it's this kind of film where Michael Bay (Armageddon, The Rock) tends to excel. The audacious, outlandish, cartoonish action flicks that dominate the summer blockbuster. I had no real great expectations for this movie. I knew it was going to be corny going in, but just amazing on the special effects and action sequences. And it was corny. But thoroughly entertaining.

I will say this about action movies today, they lack the linguistic spark that was predominant in the 80's and early 90's. While the plot-lines may have been low brow, the one-liners and wisecracks are the ones we still talk about today. And that's where the script fails miserably for Transformers. The dialog is overtly and overly cheesy. It degrades to soap opera level cheese. During the climax, the love interest Mikaela (Megan Fox) says to Sam, “I'm glad I got in that car with you.” Yes, it refers to a set of lines earlier in the film, but even with a frame of reference, it's just horrendously bad.

But bad actors delivering even worse lines is what these summer event movies are all about, right? I could do the round-up of the stars of the film: Vegas's Josh Duhamal, a decent enough TV actor still trying to follow in the footsteps of George Clooney and failing miserably at it. John Voight, who is familiarly mediocre. Tyrese, a former model turned actor, need I say more. Fox, whom you've never heard of and will never hear from again, at least not outside the pages of Maxim. The only ones really worth watching are the bit parts, particularly John Turturro as a shady government agent, or the voice over actors with Brian Cox and Hugo Weaving both lending their voices to the robots in disguise, and the under-utilized star, Shia LaBeouf.

A bit of career advice for LaBeouf: You've actually got some talent. Pick scripts that showcase that talent. Yes, any child of the 80's would jump at the chance to be in the Transformers movie. I know I would. But you'll never get your due if you don't earn it.

But acting and script aside, it was a great movie. It's an odd thing to say, really, when you think about it. Considering 90% of what is judged about a movie is the acting and the script. But, it did deliver the enjoyment, the excitement, and the escapism I look for in epic, bombastic flicks. I didn't go in expecting Citizen Kane, and I didn't get that. That's coming out ahead in my book.

Recasting Your Favourite Movies

I laboured long and hard over the intro, trying to figure out a way to best present this little idea of mine. They were all way too long, and I realized people would stop reading before they got to the point of the the blog entry. They included examples and shit and I kinda wrote circles around myself. So instead of a long diatribe, I'll just keep it concise, any questions or comments, just send them to me and I'll do my best to respond in due time.

This whole thing is a little project of mine. For the record I'm not advocating remakes of these films or film versions of these TV Shows. I enjoy speculating what it would be if the original had never been made, and it was being produced now, in 2007. Who would they cast? Scratch that, who would I cast?

Yes I do use the original as a point of reference on characterization only. Beyond that, I operate under the notion that the original was never made.

Just to restate, I am NOT advocating remakes for these flicks. This is just a fun game of speculation. I welcome comments, suggestions and criticism.

Without further ado... I present just a few of my favourite films, recast with today's talent.

The Godfather

Michael Corleone- Sean Patrick Flanery (Boondock Saints)
Fredo Corleone- Adrien Brody (The Pianist)
Sonny Corleone- Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs)
Tom Hagan- Denis Leary (Rescue Me)
Don Vito Corleone- Christopher Walken (Poolhall Junkies)
Kay Adams- Naomi Watts (King Kong)
Pete Clemenza- James Gandolfini (The Sopranos)
Cpt. McCluskey- Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man)
Virgil Solozzo- Gary Oldman (Leon)
Connie Corleone- Michelle Monaghan (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
Carlo Rizzi- Jared Leto (Requiem for a Dream)
Jack Woltz- Al Pacino (Heat)
Johnny Fontaine- John Travolta (Pulp Fiction)

I realize Flannery is Irish, but a good accent would hide it. The casting of Pacino as Woltz is not meant as some sly wink and a nod to the original. If you look at John Marley's performance in the original, it's similar to Pacino's in films like Glengarry Glen Ross, Heat and Any Given Sunday. I think this would be a good project for Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) or Joe Carnahan (Narc).

It's A Wonderful Life

George Bailey- Jim Carrey (The Truman Show)
Mary Hatch Bailey- Hope Davis (The Matador)
Mr. Potter- Brian Cox (The Bourne Identity)
Uncle Billy- Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future)
Clarence- Ian Holm (Lord of the Rings)
Violet Bick- Rachel McAdams (Wedding Crashers)
Harry Bailey- Sean Patrick Flannery (Boondock Saints)
Pa Bailey- Alan Alda (M*A*S*H*)
Ma Bailey- Dianne Weist (Edward Scissorhands)
Mr. Gower- Bill Nighy (Love Actually)
Mr. Martini- Chazz Palmentari (The Usual Suspects)
Nick- Nicky Katt (Boston Public)
Officer Bert- Greg Kinnear (The Matador)
Ernie- Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Sam Wainwright- Steve Carrell (The 40 Year Old Virgin)
Marty Hatch- Paul Rudd (Knocked Up)

I know I reused Flannery. And you know what? That will happen. He's a decent enough actor. And I thought he'd fit this role really well. I went with taller, lankier actors in Carrey, Flannery, Alda and Lloyd for the Bailey boys. There's a 10 year spread on the younger generation, mainly because they'd be playing characters from the age of 18 to mid 40's. Some of the smaller roles (Bert, Ernie, Nick) I thought it would interesting to use as cameos for certain actors. I could offer speculation on the kids, but really, kid actors are everywhere, and unknowns would be the way to go. Though I would imagine they'd go for Elle Fanning for ZuZu. Richard Curtis (Love Actually) would be perfect to direct this.

Taxi Driver

Travis Bickle- Clive Owen (Inside Man)
Iris Steensma- Evan Rachel Wood (Thirteen)
“Sport” Matthew- Heath Ledger (Lords of Dogtown)
Betsy- Hope Davis (The Matador)
Tom- Robert Downey, Jr. (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)

Smaller cast than my previous two. Clive Owen has that look about him, and the way he carries himself. He's quiet, but definitely got a crazy streak to him. It was easy to cast the three leads. It was Sport and Tom that gave me trouble. Ledger really impressed me with his turn in Lords of Dogtown. He was playing a real person with a real character quirk, but he never seemed to be mimicking or imitating. So that proved to me that he actually can act. And Downey is just a fantastic actor in the midst of a career rebirth, following Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Zodiac. I think Christopher Nolan should take this.

The Dick Van Dyke Show
They'd have to change the title, cause it wouldn't involve Dick Van Dyke, but it's that show that I'm using.

Rob Petrie- Matthew Perry (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)
Laura Petrie- Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives)
Buddy Sorrell- Steve Buscemi (Reservoir Dogs)
Sally Rogers- Jane Lynch (The 40 Year Old Virgin)
Richie- Go with an unknown here, says I
Alan Brady- William H. Macy (The Cooler)
Mel Cooley- George Carlin (Dogma)
Jerry Helper- Josh Charles (Sports Night)
Millie Helper- Jenna Fischer (The Office)

See, I'm using the TV show, as it's such a great show that would translate well to modern times (Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is a good comparable show, hence I use Matthew Perry). It's tough to use the title, as if it never happened, it wouldn't be "The Dick Van Dyke Show". But to use it as a point of reference, we'd have refer to it as "The Dick Van Dyke Show". But the actual title could be one of the shows original working titles: "Head of the Family" or "All In A Day's Work", or you could come up with a new, original title. Aaron Sorkin could write the script. Stephen Soderbergh would be interesting in the director's chair.

That's it for now. Keep an eye out for more recasts (I have more ready to go) and more posts, as I do plan to use this blog more often now, for more than just reviews.

Remergence from the abyss. No, not that abyss

So for various reasons, I had to take a brief, 3 month hiatus from writing reviews. But I am back now. In thanks for being patient with me, I will offer you brief reviews of the Flicks I've seen since my last posted review. And in sort of a restructuring of my blog, this will no longer based solely on my reviews, I will post personal (yet still movie related) essays and musings, fun little things I've done (recasts) and anything else that strikes my fancy. More to come, but for now, reviews:

Disturbia: 2.5 stars

While it was an ultimately effective and uninsulting update of Hitchcock's "Rear Window", it's neither smart enough nor clever enough to avoid drawing comparison to it's classic predecessor. Mr. LaBeouf, though talented, doesn't have the moxy to carry his own flick quite yet, which is why his next major project stars giant robots.

Fracture: 2 stars

Well, Anthony Hopkins plays Anthony Hopkins in a predictable thriller costarring the always charming Ryan Gosling, who's playing a role that is more suited for Matthew McConaughey, than to Goslings understated talent. And raise your hand if you didn't see the end coming a mile away.

Spider-Man 3: 2.5 stars

It pains me to give this film such a low rating, as I've loved the first two "Spider-Man" flicks. But this one was a disservice to fans of the franchise. It lacked any real emotional punch that the first two had. A major alteration to the character of Peter Parker occurred, that changed the essence of the character. And with all due respect to Sam Raimi, but does he even know Venom? I mean really know the character? 40 minutes of a 3 hour film on a character whose history is so storied, so ingrained with the heroes, so beloved by fans is just a slap in the face. This really should have been two films. Spider-Man 3 should have been the personal struggle he went through with Harry as Green Goblin 2 and the Sandman saga, while Parker deals with his newfound relationship with Mary Jane (or possibly even a wedding), introducing Venom at the very end, setting up the 4th movie to be just about Spider-Man vs. Venom, with requisite side plots.

28 Weeks Later...: 4.5 Stars

It's such a rarity in the world of cinema, that I almost didn't believe it when I first saw the film. A sequel that is legitimately better than it's predecessor. I can't say fully, as "28 Days Later..." is such an amazing film, and I love it so much, but "28 Weeks Later..." was just so damn good, too. Not as subtle (I know what you're thinking, since when is a zombie flick subtle, but trust me, the Brits are fuckin' subtle), but intensely moving, with more tormented characters than a Batman book.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: 3 stars

Thankfully better than the second, but still worse than the first, At World's End fortunately helps the "Pirates" trilogy do what the "Matrix" trilogy couldn't 4 years ago: deliver a worthwhile ending. Though worthwhile isn't the appropriate word as it's two 3 hour long movies, a significant portion of said 6 hours are multiple long, unnecessary scenes (Keith Richards aside, the whole Council of Pirates thing- WTFuck?) But the end was nice, if completely foreseeable within in 10 minutes of the start.

Knocked Up: 5 Stars

People say that all Judd Apatow is making is a chick flick for guys. I disagree on the basis that chick flicks often revolve around the romanticized ideal. The ideal woman with the ideal job meets the ideal guy and hilarity/yawning ensues. But Apatow is creating the realistic view at relationships. Two averagely relateable people (not too relatable, one of them is Katherine Heigl, after all) hook up one night, and are thrust into a situation and make it work. On one level, it is romantically ideal, but the whole story, including the dynamics with friends and family could be ripped entirely from anyone's life, only with a happy ending.

Ocean's 13: 3.5 Stars

Of the threequels to come out this year, this one has been the most impressive thus far. A welcome return to the magic that was the original, but still just didn't quite have it. Ocean's 11 was more of a one shot type of deal, not an on-going saga. But it was a great apology for the disastrous second one

Live Free or Die Hard: 4 Stars

20 Years after the first one set the standard for action flicks, "Live Free" reminds us what action really is. That it's about the alpha male making the heroic save. It's not about some computer geek with high-powered software seeing exactly how high they can make the main character jump. It is an update for the franchise, this time fighting cyber-terrorists, who are just as dangerous as Hans Gruber and his crew, just not as menacing or evil. As villain Tom Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) says to hero John McClane (Bruce Willis) at one point, "You're a Timex in a digital world, John." The franchise shows it's age by opting for a more low-tech approach to the stunts, but it's all the more enjoyable for it. However, if you watch the movie and something feels a bit off, that would be the PG-13 rating crammed up your ass. No blood. No violence. And no Yippie-ky-yay, motherfucker! WTFuck!?

That's all I've got for now. Like I said, more content coming soon.